Friday, August 17, 2007

A wise pixel once said...

"the thing about friends and relationships is what's important to the "relations" in your life should be important to you."

I'm curious to hear some answers from ya'll..
What makes a friend a friend?
What do you look for in friendships?
Do you believe you're a good friend and why?
Do you tend to try to be the friend to everyone or keep a small inner circle?

7 comments:

Dreamer said...

one friend's opinion, for wot it's worth :)

a good friend is chemistry - that intangible something that jus clicks - a good friend doesn't judge u [mayhaps ur clothes or choice of music :P but never u] - a good friend listens + hears u - a good friend larfs with u - does that whole unconditional thing ..

i look for humour, honesty, loyalty, common interests, an open heart, humour [did i already mention that?] :)

m i a good friend .. iunno [shrugs] i do my best.

i don't think it's possible to successfully b a friend to everyone .. u gotta b realistic .. bring everything u got to those closest to ya .. that's the best u can be.

imho.

mwa Sunshine <3

tiana meriman said...

i think what makes a good friend is someone who is there for you when you are sad and when you are happy, someone you can laugh and have fun with. its someone you can count on to tell you when you're acting like an ass but like dreamer said its mostly about chemistry, you'll always feel drawn to the people you like if oyu try to force it it wont work

i look for people that have qualities or interest that i dont have, people that can help me grow as a person by their teaching and by just hanging out with them.

i dont know if i'm a good friend or not but i do treat my friend like i want them to treat me. with love and understanding

i keep an inner circle, a very very small one.

myg said...

What makes a friend a friend?

"You like the same things I do! Boiled football leather...turkey pot pie..." Ren Hoek

What do you look for in friendships?

I like to surround myself with people who are smart, funny, creative and independent. I hope they rub off on me. But I keep people around me who love me for who I am (which in case you haven't heard or experienced first hand, is ofttimes an ass...).

Do you believe you're a good friend and why?

I'm not as good a friend as I'd like to be - honestly, I am pretty self-absorbed. That's because in my job I have to be completely focused on other people. So it makes me an odd sorta friend who forgets birthdays and doesn't like to go out a lot. But when my friends are in trouble, I'm usually the first call they make because I'm an unwavering soldier in the war against life suckage.

Do you tend to try to be the friend to everyone or keep a small inner circle?

I try to be friendly to everyone and I enjoy hanging out with whoever is around, but I don't expect to develop real deep relationships with a lot of folks, because not everybody can deal with my inconsistency or my near-psychotic compulsive drive to turn everything I touch into "work."

I HATE drama passionately, and will distance myself quickly from shit stirrers of any kind. That helps keep the friends list moderately short in SL!

Orchid said...

Lives get busy - so sometimes even the best of friends isn't always 'there' for anyone. Sometimes they aren't even there for themselves. so there are times that the conventional rules for frienship should be bent if not broken.

What makes a good friend is different from person to person. I'm sure if you sit and think about it - each friend has different qualities which you like or even admire - but they are all different. Friendships are made when their personality fits your mood - and they are broken when you no longer mesh. I mean, that's the reality of it all isn't it?

Maybe I'm selfish or shallow but I think a good friend knows when to talk and when to shut up. They know how much information to give and how much to withhold. I mean let's face it - everyone has secrets but there comes a time when those secrets have to be told and without at least ONE good friend where are you gonna go?!

Am I a good friend? Well that would depend on your point of view. Yeah I talk plenty of shit - but I know when not to talk also. I know when people need to just air their dirty laundry - and I don't blow their stench around. No I'm not clingy, I don't do the whole 'petname' thing, when I IM someone its to genuinely talk, and I'm just not the touchy feely type. I look at myself as a rigid psychiatrist type, I think - but that doesn't make anyone a bad friend.

Well considering that I've had the same best friend for 12 years .. I'd say I'm more of a small circle person. Not by their choice - but by mine. I've never been one to take popularity well - nor have I been one to even be popular so I simply maintain the friends I have unless given reason not to.

I can't use the drama thing as a means of keeping a small circle cuz let's face it .. everyone has drama. I keep my friends list short by association. If I don't talk to someone at least once a week I just don't keep their card. No skin off my bulbous nose, biatch.

A good rule that I go by as far as friendship is "Would this person be able to handle me on my worst motherfucking day .... or would they sit and try to baby and pamper me when what I really need is a boot to the face?"

Works pretty well :)

Gillian Waldman said...

I hope I am a good friend...but I know I could do better.

In SL it's kind of different though, because I always worry that I am bugging people when I IM them...sooooo I tend to just sit back and perhaps that gets misconstrued sometimes. I just wanna state for the record that even though I don't IM you ("you" plural) all the time, it's because I am afraid to bug you.

My RL is kind of nuts with work and horse and family and boy issues (*cough*) so I could prolly be a better friend in that life too. That said, I still have the same best girlfriend from grade school - as well as my whole larger group of girlfriends from college and high school, so I guess we're doing something right. We've stayed friends through divorces, babies, asshat boyfriends and all the rest. Nothing really changes there and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

guenevere decuir said...

A good friend (and lover) is someone who doesn't try to change who you are. :-)

Willis said...

To me, a good friend isn't necessarily someone you're always in contact with, but someone you KNOW will be there for you if you need it.

I don't IM as many people as I used to, or as I should.. mainly due to my SL drastically dropping over the months, but i'm always ALWAYS here for people to talk to if they need me, and I would hope that would be returned, even if we don't live in each other's pockets.

I think smaller circles are easier to manage, and have less "jealously" issues, but i'm all for socialising and meeting new people, when i'm in the mood :)